” “OK”, said the wife, but what about the empty one?” He replied, “That’s if I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m NOT thirsty.”Thought for the Day:I’ve been sick and NEEDED a doctor. I’ve encountered trouble and NEEDED a police officer. I’ve lived through times of war, when our nation NEEDED our military. I have even NEEDED an auto mechanic, a plumber, a house painter and a lot of other every-day people.But I have NEVER, not even once, NEEDED a pro athlete or Hollywood entertainer for ANYTHING.Author unknownQ: What’s the difference between Joy Behar and the Panama Canal?A: The Panama Canal is a Busy Ditch... Zubin Beckmesser, the noted orchestral conductor was nearly electrocuted today when he accidentally stuck his baton into an electric socket. Doctors said that he would have died instantly it he hadn’t been such a poor conductor.“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled, “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.After. ”This rang a warning bell; it was a very long time since I had used a pregnancy test but both my memory and my medical training told me that they would best be done first thing in the morning. Given her personality, it was entirely probable that Izzy had been so keen to know the result that she hadn’t followed the instructions properly.“Of course,” I said, stroking her long dark hair. “We’ll go to the all night pharmacy now and buy a pack of tests, not just one. Then we’ll try again together. Between us we’ll make sure we do it right, okay?”“Okay. Thanks, Mum.”“And we’ll make sure your Dad doesn’t find out, right?”Izzy gulped.“Oh God. I couldn’t bear it if Dad knew.”I could have told her that her father was a great deal more relaxed and understanding than she gave him credit for but there was no point. Pete still didn’t know how she and Steve had broken up. I didn’t want him to know that neither his wife nor his daughter could be trusted to keep their knickers on when an opportunity.
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